The one for me.

Spare me from all the questionings and interrogating.

March 8, was the last time i could hear you care for me.
I never received anymore for the next 2 days until JiaEn called.

During that period, I was still happily counting down.
Counting down.. till I can see you once again, smile at you, call you bibi and hug you.

She wanted to say something but hesitated.
In the end, I knew of a clarified truth from Jolene.
But I still persisted that you won't be so heartless once again to do this to me.

How much I wish JiaEn could keep this news from me, don't call me and tell me about it.
& I may still be happy until you come back.
Able see you as a lover for the last time.

But I still got to thank her for coming forth to tell me about it.

It's.
Until when I heard the 'ya' from you baby.
My heart shattered instantly.

It wasn't my intention to show you how weak was I, by crying on the phone.
It also wasn't my intention to gain sympathy from you, by crying on the phone.
It's because I can feel. Feel you returning my love for you. Back to me.
At that point, I knew I had to accept the fact and wake up from my dream.
Because my baby's no longer mine.

And I couldn't turn to anyone because I didn't want anyone to worry for me.
After her call, I just grabbed my tissue box and went out of house.

I couldn't call Annie.
I couldn't ask Shimin to accompany me because she's with her bf.
I couldn't possibly call my school mates.
I couldn't possibly cry alone.
But I got to thank the 2 other guys for making their way down to look for me in the middle of the night.

After few hours, while walking home.
The thoughts, the memories all came streaming in.
It isn't so easy to put down afterall.
I waked my sister up from her sweetdreams.
All I did was look at her without speaking and teared non stop.
She didn't really know how to stop me from crying.
But she kept herself awake until I fell asleep.

I dreamt of you.
But I guess, it'll be the one last beautiful dream that can happen to me.

Ps. Teach me how to be strong.